InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Bad As New."

mitsuhachi (mitsuhachi) wrote,
@ 2008-05-07 11:14:00

Entry tags:

thinky

Mah Bodie. U Ar Not Entitled to It.
I know this is my fandom journal. But I'm cross-posting this anyway because I know a lot of the people on my friendslist identify as women/are affected by this kind of thing, and I think it's really important.

The Open Source Women Back Each Other Up Program
http://vito-excalibur.livejournal.com/173664.html

Short version of the background is that some dipshit at a con decided that the best way to HEALZ HIZ SYKICK PAINZZ!!! was to go about asking women if he could grope them. Which involved giving out buttons that said "Yes you may ask" or "No, you may not ask." Which. Would have been fine! In a controlled environment chosen for this activity with clear consent--not just to the asking, but to the question implied in having to wear a button at all--and easy ways to leave, which this wasn't. Also, going around and asking people who have no idea what you're doing and who aren't wearing a button either way? NOT ON.

Various wimminz go: MAH BODY. U AR NOT ENTITLED TO IT. D:<

This guy: Totally doesn't get how he's being an ass. Further information is at the link above.

So, the OSWBEOUP (and Gentleman's Auxiliary) basically involves keeping an eye out for the people around you. If you're out drinking, and there's a girl at the bar next to you getting felt up by some dude her father's age and she looks really uncomfortable? This is a standing invite to break through the Someone Else's Problem barrier and go over and help her out. Ask if she can show you where the bathrooms are. Be Very Friendly (tm) at the creep until she can get away. Invite her to your table (if you can keep Creep from following). And guys? If you see one of your friends being THAT GUY? If you're watching one of your boys get some girl drunk to "help her be more friendly" or try to "wear down" some girl who's already told him no half a dozen times? Friends don't let friends be creeps. Take him aside and remind him that she's a person too, and not a thing he has a right to use. It's sad, but a lot of the time, when someone's being THAT GUY, he's not going to hear it when a woman tells him to quit acting like a creep, where he might hear it coming from you. Apply the "how would I like him doing this to my sister?" rule.

So yeah, class now. But! Check out the link. Click the links there. People have some really bright, important things to say in this mess, and some good things are coming out of it.

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	branchandroot 2008-05-07 01:28 pm UTC (link)
	I really, really like the back each other up project. Because it's a hard thing to do, even in the US busybody culture, and there is, as always, strength in numbers. And positive reinforcement. Besides, I'm always happy to lend out the use of my "I will break your face if you come near" field. tightens up the bolts for use at the con in two weeks (Reply to this) (Thread)

mitsuhachi
2008-05-07 02:13 pm UTC (link)

There's also a sense, I've found, among women of "just don't make a scene". Like... well if this guy wants to threaten me or grope me or whatever, better just allow it, no matter how uncomfortable I am, because we wouldn't want to Ruin the Party. So I think it's really powerful to have other people--men OR women--tell you it's ok to object. I think women need to hear that more often.

Con in two weeks--fanime?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	branchandroot 2008-05-07 02:46 pm UTC (link)
	nodnod Definitely. makes a face Reminds me of that dreadful current in anime (and, I think, Japanese culture at large) of "if you don't fight we'll only rape you, if you do fight we'll beat you up first". That one always makes me breathe fire. No, Marcon, in Ohio. Its anime thread is still in infancy, but they have a lot of nice writer panels. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mitsuhachi 2008-05-07 06:25 pm UTC (link)
	But at least if you're really beaten up too, (almost) no one will say it's your fault? No, ok, everyone will still ask you why you wore that shirt anyway. :( Ah, too bad. Have fun, though. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	mahokiwi 2008-05-07 03:08 pm UTC (link)
	GOD. That thing. I just. GOD. Hatred. From every pore of my body. I liked what one of the commenters said (on one such related post), something about "if his inner pain can be healed by a boob grab, it mustn't have been that traumatizing in the first place, huh?" (Reply to this) (Thread)

mitsuhachi
2008-05-07 06:30 pm UTC (link)

Well, and even if it was, I don't owe him healing. I don't even owe him the time and space to co-opt for his stupid experiment. I don't owe him anything. And I'm just. My body is not a thing! It's not FOR you. It's not for your babies. It's not for your psychic pain. It's not for your sexual fulfillment. IT'S MY BODY. How do they not get this?

This kind of being treated like an object to be used is what CAUSES women to hate their bodies, not part of the solution. ~~You bunch of fucking moron men~~.

/seethe

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